There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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