i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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