She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
