Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.

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(513): View more from Ohio

she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.

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(818): View more from California

Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party

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(206): View more from Washington

Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her

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(+61): View more from Australia

I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?

(203): View more from Connecticut

NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??

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