Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize