im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
