i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
