Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Mom said you looked used
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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