Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
