Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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