matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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