The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
