i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
