I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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