So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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