yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
