Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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