Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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