i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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