Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
