break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
