1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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