I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
