New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize