he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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