Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize