Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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