Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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