it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
