every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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