I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
