You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The feeling are messing with the penis
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
