Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
