if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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