When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i think i just lost a toe
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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