She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
