Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
how does that bad decision feel?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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