either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
