my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
