How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
