the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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