Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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