the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
