The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
