Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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