so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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