i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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