Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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