dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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