I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
