Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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