He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
