I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
