I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
