I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
