its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
