Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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