"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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