I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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