so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
