my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
