Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
either way he was missing a nipple.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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