You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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