your room smells of hookers.
And success
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Watching her eat just hurts me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
