We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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