just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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