that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Everyone says I win the strip club
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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