im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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