just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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