do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
should my penis look like a turkey
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
