Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
