I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
