in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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