North Korea, Best Korea!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
